Girls from Incomplete Families




A complete family is a family where there is a man (a husband, a father, a grandfather, a brother and etc.) who demonstrates the male line of behavior and towards whom a mother of a child shows the female line of behavior.

The elements of male line of behavior: resoluteness, stability, respect to a woman, logic nature in decision making.

The elements of female line of behavior: emotionality, care, kindness, ability of giving way, non-contentiousness.

Here are examples of families of such type.

In my understanding an incomplete family is the following family:

a) a husband and a wife are divorced, they have been married till their common child is about 5-10 years old, the former wife has no husband at the present moment. The child lives with her mother;

b) a husband and a wife are divorced, they have been married till their common child is about 5-10 years old, the former wife either has or has no husband at the present moment. The child lives with his father;

c) a single mother who either was married or was not, and who is not married, her children were born out of a marriage or in it;

d) a woman was divorced for three or more times; any of her families is incomplete in point of fact even if she has a husband and common children;

In my understanding a complete family is the following family:

a) a married couple lives together and they are growing up their common children;

b) children live in families with a stepfather or a stepmother;

c) one of the couple died tragically and the second one is not married at the present moment and he or she is growing up his or her children alone. The partner died when a child was not younger than growing age;

d) incomplete families living with the relatives who have a complete family. For example, a single mother is living with her parents. In such families the role of a father-husband-grandfather must be important not depending on the female role.

There is no man (husband-defender-mother`s beloved) before the child`s eyes in the incomplete families that is why the child does not see male line of behavior.

Stories, books, relations in the school and other things cannot replace a man for the child.

The boy from incomplete family has a great chance to be a mother's baby but he can go to the army where he will become a man.

The girl from incomplete family has not such institute as an army for young men in prospect that is why a lack of male principle will pursue her all her life.

If a daughter was born, her mother was closed to a man. If a mother was with a man she made her sexual choice. The sexual choice is a perpetuation of the species the thing to which girls are getting ready from the birth, thing that they are constantly thinking about and thing of which they are constantly doubting. If the father went away she made an incorrect sexual choice: or she gave her consent to a wrong man or she could not keep the farther of her child around. In all circumstances such situation is not the guilt of the man or the woman.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. (Jesus Christ, the Bible, New Testament, Gospel of Matthew, 2000 years ago).

From Engels point of view a family is an institution merging with the concepts of private property and state. (Engels, "The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State", one and half century ago). Family and sexual choice are different notions and events; it would be ideally if they coincide but they coincide not always.

So the daughter does not have before her eyes a dear person who would demonstrate a male line of behavior. The daughter does not have a choice for this reason, she copies the line of mother`s behavior. But the mother grows her up alone that is why the daughter has a great probability of repeating the mother`s fate.

Divorced mother divorces her daughter.

It is not a law but a tendency. You should understand it in the following way: there is a great probability that the daughter of divorced mother either will nevеr get married or she will be alone, or she will be a single mother. But there is a little probability that the girl from an incomplete family will create a normal close-knit family. Also there is some probability that the girl from a complete family either will be alone or unmarried.

The thing is that it is more difficult for the girl from an incomplete family to find a young man for the reason that she "does not know what she will do with him". Such a girl says wrong words, does things differently and not at the necessary moment, behaves in improper manner. As the result she alienates young men instead of attracting them.

Here are examples of the wrong behavior.

The first example: The date is appointed; the time and the place are specified. It is wrong to change the time and place when the young man has already come out to the meeting. You should not change the time before 15-30 minutes of the meeting to make the young man wait for you or to change the place of meeting before a half an hour of it – so, the girl oversets his plans; perhaps, he wants to buy her a present or something else. You may change place and time of the meeting at least before a half a day of it. If a date is at risk it is better to move it. Otherwise it will be a bad beginning of the date (and this is a loving meeting!) because the young man will come angry and annoyed.

Girl, do you want your boyfriend to come to you already angry?

The second example: Being late to the date. A girl has right to be late for 20-30 minutes according to the rules of politeness. To make your boyfriend wait longer is wrong: the young man has been tired and again he will be in a bad mood.

Girl, do you want to frazzle your boyfriend with waiting?

And here are examples of wrong life attitudes.

"All men are assholes".

"All men want only sex from woman."

"I am the best! I am goddess!"

A single mother and unmarried woman are inclined to give different advice to their daughters. For example, the daughter has a conflict with her boyfriend. It is very likely that the first mother exacerbates the conflict taking the part of her daughter, carrying the relations off to the break. The second mother values men more than the first one that is why she will strive to reclaim the conflict, though, it will be harmfully for her beloved daughter.

If the daughter gets married the single mother would not values her husband, it is most likely that she will exacerbate and provoke conflicts that will cause a break-up of the family. Wishing happiness to her daughter such a mother breaks up it in her ignorance with her own hands. It is very sad to acknowledge the thing that the best variant of the organization of life to the daughter who was brought up by the single mother is leaving her beloved mother. There may be following alternatives: to live in other city (country), to break the relations, or her death. In the absence of mother who transfers her negative experience to her daughter the young woman will feel lonely and undefended consequently she will actively look for a man and keep him around appreciating him, giving way to him and reclaiming the conflict in every possible way.

One more disadvantage of an incomplete family is a lack of mature experienced affined man in the circle of the relatives. Simply said having married to a girl from an incomplete family a young man does not obtain older and (it is most likely due to his experience) more successful relative – father-in-law. It is a value to have him. Very often such men are at the peak of their career (45-55 years old) and have many useful acquaintances. It is good and useful to be friends with your farther-in-law!

If you look at the divorces of famous people the wife happens to be from the incomplete family.

For example, the divorce of Princess Diana is a result of her parents` divorce. Rimma Dyusmetova, a psychologist from the site Shkola Zhizni Ru considers so. And Diana has everything: huge money, fame, beauty, youth, loving husband, children, and a title.

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. (the Bible, Old Testament, Book of Proverbs, it is referred to Solomon, a king of Israel, 3000 years ago).

A strong willed woman is not a man. Yes, this lady can demonstrate male character qualities but she is still a woman. She does not replace a man and a father to her daughter. A husband and a wife are two different persons: the key words here are "different people".

Different people should have different, sometimes mutually exclusive or bad compatible interests. Different people perceive the world differently. Also different people should occasionally conflict and make peace with each other. A strong willed single mother is a one person: she cannot have simultaneously mutually exclusive interests, she cannot perceive the world differently and she cannot conflict and make peace with herself.

An incomplete family does not give necessary education to children proceeding from its entity, from its inferiority.

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