A Friendship between a Man and a Woman
In this section I will consider only adults of childbearing age no one of who are married.
So let us start.
A man and a woman are not intended in friendship by nature.
The result of the relations between a man and a woman must be a birth and growing up of a child.
That is all – this is our biological essence.
Tendency of propagation of the species is a natural and normal thing.
But if the quantity of man`s descendants is not potentially limited the quantity of children to whom a woman can give a birth is about some hundreds. A woman cannot physically nurse and bring up so many children; it is usually very rare event when she has more than 5-10 children.
Consequently, from a biological point of view a woman is more valuable than a man.
If suddenly a hundred of women and a man appear on an uninhabited island it will be better for everyone than if a hundred of men and a woman appear on it!
In general a man and a woman is more than narrower view towards a male and a female of mammals.
On the whole the behavior of males and females adhere to the following principle: a male is boasting and a female is doubting.
The male is showing his muscles and health by the defined moves, loud sounds, and victories in the scuffles by that he tries to make the most advantageous impression on the female as a future father of her children. A male can be a father of cubs of any female he is intended so by nature.
But a female has a right of sexual choice for this reason she looks at a male and appraise him, she is thinking over and doubting: if he is worth to be the farther of her children.
Something like this happens to people. But we are more social than wild animals; we are more cultural; that is why the same processes happen to us milder and a bit different.
On account of the occupation variety men are forced to specialize that is why they cannot be successful in all fields of activity. Because of that women have a wide choice of future fathers for their children.
So a man and a woman get acquainted. The man is dating with the woman but she decides that he is not a good match for her as a future father of her children. She has a wide choice of men of different professions and characters. She is sure that they will not make it – she needs another man. They do not have the intimate relations before this moment.
The first and the most widespread variant is: the girl stops seeing the man. How? Either she says it to him or she keeps silent.
The second less common variant is: the woman offers to be friends. Usually the dialog sounds like this.
He says to her: "Let`s go to my place. We will drink tea." or "Let`s meet tomorrow. We will walk or may sit in the cafe."
She answers: "I am not ready now. I can`t date you. Let`s be just friends." She can also say that she has no time, she is busy, and they will undoubtedly meet after some time. But the main word is "friendship" and it has sounded.
Friendship is a complete and definite ending of the loving relations of this couple.
If the girl supposes a break under the word "friendship" this is a positive situation for both of them. This date is the last one. They can start looking for another partner and in prospect they will certainly find him or her.
But if the girl supposes a real friendship under the word "friendship" this is very bad for both of them. The girl is ready to be a friend that is to meet not more frequently than one time a week and it is most likely that one time a month and less frequently in such situations: she has another boyfriend she loves him but he does not love her; or she has no boyfriend and she has not had him for a long time and she wants she has "somebody". The main purpose of such woman`s friendship is to complain about all this to the young man for he will cheer her up or as a variant to exploit his money.
If the girl does not offer to be friends but she meets you not very often and is constantly busy this is also "a friendship" but it is not said in words.
A friendship harms both of you.
It makes harm to the young man because he listens constantly to the complaints that abate his spirits and for the reason he has no girlfriend in fact and no normal loving relations.
It makes harm to the girl because she agonizes in the circle of his problems and she has not a boyfriend in fact, too, and she has no normal loving relations, too.
One should distinguish an early stage of loving relations from friendship. At this stage there is no intimate closeness and there is some awkwardness. True loving relations at the early stage differ from friendship according to the following factors:
1) the frequency of dates (when there is love people see each other two or three times a week or even more often).
2) the essence of dates (the girl is intended on herself, her feelings in friendship, she is not very interested in the young man; if there may be love in prospect the girl is interested in the young man, she tries to get to know him better).
"Friendship" between a man and a woman does not bring him happiness; they just spend their time with no purpose and senseless sufferings.
The best way of the continuation of such unreal "friendship" is parting.