Amorousness and Love
Many things in life of people happen because these two notions, amorousness and love, are mixed!
Amorousness is passion, the first appetence of each other.
The basis of amorousness is sex, sexual desire.
Amorousness is when two persons are looking at each other.
Amorousness is the first stage of relationship. The beginning of relationship is impossible without amorousness.
To build a close-knit family is impossible but there will be no love without amorousness.
Amorousness will pass away in about three-six months.
Amorousness always passed away and it happens with everybody. Passion cannot be everlasting. Of cause, the flame of feelings may pass away in a week or it may be burning for some years. A long amorousness, a long passion pertain the relationship with rare dates – once a month or more rarely. If a man and a woman meet a few times in a week, to keep the state of amorousness for some years is impossible.
The period of amorousness ends gradually: the partners begin to look at each other more calmly and critically, passion steps back before cold calculus.
If disadvantages of the partner are unacceptable in the longer term the couple breaks up.
If in the partners' opinion their disadvantages are acceptable and they can live with them for a long time amorousness passed away and love comes on its place.
The basis of love is friendship.
The beginning of love is amorousness.
Love is an alloy of cooled passion, mutual respect, mutual help and friendship.
Love is common interests or readiness of one side go against his or her interests for the sake of partner`s interests.
Love is when two persons look into one side.
It is love when two persons feel as they are two halves of a whole.
The state of love may last for many years getting little colder and burning up again since there is passion in it.
The state of love may be practically without sex, for example, if the couple is of a certain age.
At middle age the period of amorousness is significantly shorter than in youth because the partners have less energy and health. But this fact does not prevent creating a close-knit family based on love.
Here is an example of the development of relations.
A girl likes a young man and she is attracted by him. They are dating and they are having a good time. They are an ideal for each other. There are no other partners for them. But after a little while it appears that the young man is inclined to alcoholic drinks and, let us suppose that, the girl is hopelessly silly. I emphasize that it is their subjective opinion. It is most likely that in another girl`s judgment the young man drinks sufficiently and he will not become an alcoholic in the future. Also another young man will not consider that she is stupid but the girl who knows not so many things and the girl has other more important advantages. But our couple is successfully going to part: her stupidity begins to irritate him and the girl worries about her future as a wife of an alcoholic. So the couple is ready to date and communicate for some months but they are not ready to live together for several dozens of years. From this moment the parting is only a matter of time. And when the pair breaks up both former partners have a chance to find their real second half.
But love and wedding are not the ending. Love is work. Now I will tell how it is possible to kill a good, true, long-term love.
There are no people without disadvantages.
But it happens that disadvantages are the continuation of advantages or the basis of some success.
For example, suppose that a creative man does not give enough attention to her woman and she feels deprived. But there will be no success without his creative work and understanding this she does not prevent him doing it. As a result he obtains success (fame, fortune) that is ideally from the wife`s point of view.
To live with the partner`s disadvantages, not to damp the flame of amorousness that is still burns in love both of the partners should show patience, care, attention, and kindness to each other.
If a family has a lack of these qualities little scandals and cracks in the relations damp the passion and it gradually goes away completely. Consequently only common interests remain. The families can exist with this but not live and make happy each other, just to exist juridical but not spiritually. But then one or both partners find the passion on the side – a lover and (or) a mistress. Most commonly a husband finds a mistress.
The breaking family has common interests: business, children or something else. But children grow up and become adults and as for business – "one cannot earn all money".
Passion, amorousness is the function of breeding, it is the second important function of any living being: "survive and breed descendants" – the mail program in the biology. Well, the program can glitch but these glitches are not a norm. There are heroes who die for the sake of other people; there are people who can have children but they do not want to. Such people are an exception from the rule: if 100% of people die for the sake of others or do not have children the mankind will disappear.
So there is no passion in love, children grew up, money (power, fame and etc.) is a means – it is a word "survive". And what is a goal? The goal is breeding and that is why a new passion kills families that look happy on the surface: the man goes away, leaves the old wife and hurries to the young one. The man will not leave the old wife for older woman because the goal of "breeding" will not be accomplished.
But such family broke up not because of a young mistress and not because of unfaithful husband but because the passion, the amorousness went away, common interests stopped to be common, equally important for the both partners.
And where is happiness here? Happiness is in every moment of life!
Happiness is to be amorous, to notice nobody except for her (him).
Happiness is to love and to be loved.
Happiness is to live and grow up children.
There is little happiness in a divorce but this is a possible way to a new happiness, to a new life where you will love and you will be loved.
With aging the range of interests becomes narrower gradually and unfailingly. There is no passion, common interests are minimal, and death is close. And in the course of time it appears that happiness is just to be, to exist, even to be ill but not be dead.